Friday, June 27, 2008

Arrogant Democrats


And foolish too. Sen. Obama, in an effort to assuage Sen. Clinton and her flock, have asked wealthy Democrats to donate to Clinton's indebted campaign fund. Clinton is over $22 million in debt from her unsuccesful run at the presidential nomination.

Isn't this a good thing?

No! First of all, Clinton shouldn't have been so reckless in her spending. You shouldn't spend money faster than you can raise it. Even though she learned this trick in Congress, it doesn't excuse her pitiable fiscal position today.

Second, why are the Democrats paying off debt? This is a monumental miscalculation. With just a few months before crunch time for the general election, the last thing wealthy Democrats should be doing is paying off debt. They need to be funneling money into Swift-Boat Ads and directly donating to Obama. It's foolish to think this election will be anything but close.

Even it ends up being anything but close, one should never view it as such. It is this type of arrogance and nonchalant fundraising that will come back to haunt the Democrats in the fall.

Obama has done his part to court Clinton supporters, and the proposed meeting in Unity, Pennsylvania (how coincidental, eh?) emphasizes their renewed cordial relationship. To personally donate and ask others to donate is excessively nice/idiotic to the point of ridiculous.

Whether or not Clinton is asked to run for the Vice Presidency, Obama's campaign flubbed this one pretty bad.

Monday, June 23, 2008

R.I.P. George Carlin


Yesterday night, comedian George Carlin passed away at the age of 71. He had a long history of heart failure and last night it finally gave up. I'm really sad.

Carlin has been my favorite comedian since I learned the word mother f@#$er. He coined that word like Paris Hilton coined whore.

Carlin was famous for not only pushing people's buttons, but breaking them right off. His comedy was profane, in your face and spot-on.

He called it how he saw it. And he saw it damn more accurately than any other comedian I've ever listened to. If you haven't already, please read Napalm and Silly Putty, pick up a CD of his work, or YouTube some of his sketches.

It comes so naturally for him, it's hard to believe he used to be the train conducter on PBS.

Carlin and PBS fit about as well as Ashley Olson and snack time.

Rest in Peace to a wonderful performer. He will be truly missed and remembered.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Lost Some of my Manhood


There are certain things, as a heterosexual male, that I vowed I'd never do. It has nothing to do with being a homophobe. But there are certain vanity affairs, that I refused to partake in. Like, say, a manicure.

At least I can still be true to that one.

But I did receive my first pedicure the other day and my toes are still blinging like 50 Cent's neck. Unbeknownest to me, they put some sort of gloss over my toes at the end and has since made wearing sandals passe. I'm starting the new fashion faux pas of wearing socks with sandals.

I'm not gonna lie. I liked it.

They rub your calves and feet while you sit in a massage chair that works the back and neck. No wonder women frequent these all the time.

Scratch another one off the list. My bucket list, that is.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Troublesome Thoughts that Plague my Brain


I've been going on these two-hour long bike rides, and during these times I have a chance to think. Which can be very dangerous. And hazerdous to oncoming traffic. Nonetheless, I've noticed two issues which have been gnawing at me like my craving for caramel apple's.

Let's start with the military. Members of the military vote Republican by leaps and bounds. In fact, it's unheard of to be an open liberal without being labled as a turncoat or without facing blatant ostracism from the majority.

Let's analyze this for a minute. First, these people are voting for the war-mongerers on the right who are sending them directly into harms way. For some, this is an excuse to kill and precisely what they would prefer. Hurrah!
Second, they're voting for the people who cut their benefits and send them to fight underequipped. Those two issues have perpelexed me for quite sometime.

However my recent revelation, is that there's even more irony. These military Republicans are often anti-government and don't believe in lending a helping hand as liberals do. Ask them and they decry the big government and its bureacracy.

Well, hate to break it to them, but the biggest government bailout of all-time is the military. Bar none. It's here, the C students are stripped of their individuality and morphed into killing machines. Many of these kids have few options after high school, therefore they enlist (i.e. the government bails them out).

What's worse is when they come back with PTSD or the like, the people they voted for won't help them.
But wait, the government has another bailout for them. Government jobs. Ever wonder why police officers all have the same haircut?

They're all former military. Postal service? You guessed it. The government continues to bailout these soldiers because without Uncle Sam, they're nothing.

The second issue is the recent authorization of same-sex marriage in California. Some of the people who issue the licences are refusing to grant them to homosexuals.

Problem? Yes indeed.

Obviously these people are so blinded by their warped religion that they won't permit two humans to be happy together. Are they entitled to their beliefs - sure.
But they should be fired!!!!

But you know why they won't? Because they live in the liberal state of California, which offers them protection from such outrageous behavior at work. Unable to perform their duties due to religion is not a just cause for dismissal. It should be, but it's not.
Therefore these pathetic people take salvage under the law that was implemented by the people they voted against.
How strange this world is.

Obama Pulls Ahead in Swings


In droves, actually. In uber-competitive states; Ohio, Pennsylvania and Florida, Sen. Obama has gained a substantial lead over contender Sen. McCain. This is fantastic news for Democrats. Many panic-struck Democrats, worried over potential Hillary supporters turning red, have gained wrinkles the past few weeks.

Adios, to the feet of the crow.

What this means to me, is that Florida, which Obama probably won't win due to white, old voters, will receive an array of television ads from the GOP slandering his name. These ads will cost millions for the Republicans and in the meanwhile will lessen their chance to gain percentage points in other key states (i.e. Virginia, Nevada, Colorado, Missouri).

By the mere fact that Florida is competitive, will increase Obama's chance to turn the purple states royal blue. So McCain wins Florida. Well, he's supposed to carry a state that mirrors, well, him. In other words, old white people.

The GOP will be scrambling to funnell adecuate resources to insure Florida remains red.


On a different note, Michelle Obama (Barack's wife for those without TV or electricity), is set to receive a full campaign staff of her own. In prescience to supposed Republican attacks, she will have a response team for damage control and to dispell the dirt.

There's two ways to view this.

With blinders and with the truth.

Let's start with the truth. Obama hasn't had a free pass with the media. He's no media darling or just a great orator. He's a decent man with a real and sincere improved vision for America. See, this is what happens when a good man runs for President. There's not much dirt. Less skeletons then a creamation. Therefore they attack at straws - acqaintances, a spouse, aides, anything they can get their paws on.

The blinders on: Obama's wife is a black Muslim who hates America. When she becomes first lady, the terrorists will win and gas prices will triple.

Ahhh, decisions, decisions.

Democrats can sleep easy for the time being, but watch out for the "Baby's Mama," drama.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Celtics Demolish Pitiable Lakers


Wasn't sure if I was watching the Yankee-Padre game or the NBA Finals last night. From start to finish the Celtics out-hustled, out-shot, out-rebounded, and flat one controlled the game. This was the greatest blow-out clincher of all time for an NBA Finals.

Let "The Truth" be told.

Paul Pierce played unselfishly and Kevin Garnett broke out of his cocoon to prove why he was third in this year's MVP race. It was beautiful to watch him immediately after the win.

He was laughing. He was yelling. He cried. There was so much emotion in this man that I was tempted to refer him to Dr. Phil.

But that's what it takes to be a champion.

You have to want it so bad that you're willing to endure the critics, the naysayers, the media. You step up to the challenge that you're not a big game player. And that was the major difference between these two teams.

Boston wanted it more. Much more.

Just look at Lamar Odom. A pitiable player for his lack of determination and focus, he walzed to the free throw line last night and had a smirk on his face. In the third quarter!!! It was as if he could care less that his team was being thoroughly humiliated by three guys who couldn't spell playoffs last season.

Poor Kobe. At the worst possible moment, he has his worst game of the playoffs. Which isn't what the Lakers needed to make the score respectable. Kobe and the gang looked dejected. I was getting the deja vu feeling (from last year, or maybe the year before) when Kobe just let down in the 2nd half.

Except this year, it was a collective effort.

Congratulations to the 2008 NBA Champions, The Boston Celtics. I have an inkling that this will be the first of many more for this squad.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

How Things Can Be Different


It's a yes instead of a no. A right turn instead of left. Showing up instead of staying at home.

It amazes me how our lives are completed and altered by split second decisions that have lasting repurcussions.

Obviously, this is not unform. Many of our decisions are well-thought out and prepared. Hopefully, the major ones are.

At times, however, life-changing moments are decided in the blink of an eye. For example, the decision to pass on the right when the space is insufficient. Deciding to act rashly or emotionally, when you needed to be rationale.

What can we do at these moments? Can we reconcile? Is it futile?

I believe it's better late than forever. When you make a mistake, don't sulk. Don't prolong your state of dissatisfaction. Expunge effort to retake your life. Right, the mistake.

Think about rifts in a family. Grudges are held for decades out of stubbornness and miscommunications. Then, years later, families can reunite.

But what's lost is the most important thing.

Time.

Which is why prison is such an effective punishment. In the movie Hurricane, Denzel Washington plays Ruben Carter, who was incarcerated for a crime he did not committ. He is eventually acquitted (a true story) and they ask him what they can do. And he says, "Give me back my time..."

The one thing they couldn't give him.

So make the right decisions. Or work hard to overcome the split-second wrong ones.

Because the worst thing to live with is regret.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Well...It Wasn't Pretty


But neither am I, and I still do pretty well. Tiger Woods used his telepathy skills to will the ball in the hole on the final hole to force a 18-hole playoff with his grandfather this morning. Well, he's got like 15 years on him.

And this guy is more lovable than baby kittens.

He couldn't even root for Tiger to miss that final putt to force the playoff. What an idiot! Kidding. Sports commentators say this guy enjoys himself more than any other player on tour. You can tell just by looking at his peace belt buckle. (Which is next on the list but still won't outdo my ThunderCats one).

I was so frustrated by watching Tiger let his lead slip away, that I needed to lie upside down on my head to refrain from yelling too loudly. When he made that 12 footer, I jumped in jubilation and did my best impression of Shooter McGavin.

Tiger has been quoted at times for believing that in clutch moments he actually wills the ball in. Seriously. If you don't believe me just look at this guys track record. He's won more titles than Pau Gasol's haircount. (Seriously dude, cut the damn thing).

So does Rocco Mediate have a chance?

No.

Kudos to him for putting up a fight but he will be swallowed in Tiger's den today in a scorching day at Torrey Pines.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

I Can Hear Tiger's Roar


And I'm about 10 miles away. Tiger charged back to the front of the leaderboard yesterday after a baffling shot standing on a cart path which led to a magnificent birdie. Even the waves got louder.

Now, one shot behind, Tiger will continue his pace to the top spot, where he has never been beat when leading entering the final round.

The weather looks a tad gloomy again, mirroring his competitor's chances, in San Diego (wtf, this is SAN DIEGO??) but as I look west towards the ocean I see fog and cloud coverage.

I believe Tiger will pounce on the competition today and give himself a two shot lead going into Father's Day.

And the chance of beating him at that point is equivalent to the chance of me scoring a date with his wife.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Celtics One Win Away


There are many things in life I don't understand. Like the solar system, quantum physics and The View. But this game last night just absolutely took it to a new level.

Down 24 (somehow that is not a typo) the Celtics came roaring back with a punch to beat the Lakers in Game 4 of the 2008 NBA Finals.

I was about as shocked as when I found out Clay Aiken is gonna be a father. How did this happen??

Well, Boston never lost hope and they quietly chipped away at the lead while the Lakers got complacent. LA began settling for long jumpers and Boston forced turnovers and took care of the ball at their end.

If you didn't watch this game, I'm sure you'll have plenty more chances on ESPN 6, 7, 8, or 9 anytime the next ten years. By then, shoot, I could even be broadcasting.

Now Boston is one win away from the illustrious title New England has grown accustomed to. And I'm not just referring to the best bowl of clam chowder. These guys have a monopoly on sports right now. From the Patriots to the Red Sox to the Bruins (whatever) to the mean, green, fightin' machine that is this years Celtics.

One win away.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Blackwater Protest Today!!


From 3:00PM to 5:00PM today, there is a protest outside the proposed building site for Blackwater. For those outside of San Diego, or unfamiliar with BW, this group is a private mercenary training organization which sends its personnel into foreign countries across the world (including the Middle East). To kill.

These private security contractors are taught military offensives, weapon technology and techniques. BW has been charged with murdering civilians, yet no charges have been filed. Probably because of the protection they solicit from the U.S. State Department.

San Diego residents do not want any more military industrialization. We've got Camp Pendleton. We've got over five Naval operations complexes, over five Marine Corps facilities, not to mention the 19th Air Force plant.

Now they want to construct a massive 800 acre + facility near the U.S.-Mexican border.

And we're angry about it.

So if you have time, please let your voice be heard this afternoon at 7685 Siempre Viva Rd, San Diego, CA 92154. Their audacious destruction to this planet must be stopped.

My Butt Hurts


And it's not because my ass was on the hot seat like Coach Phil Jackson tonight. It hurts because of the bike I brought back from Phoenix. It's a roadbike called, "Airborne" an ill-suited name for a racing bike that refuses to hop curbs the size of McCain's heart.

I've been riding the bike as much as possible to save money on gas and reduce my carbon footprint on the world. Speaking of which, our government, which we elect to make decisions on our behalf, refused to debate what to do with rising gas prices.

Democrats, in typical fashion, opted to raise windfall taxes on the major oil companies making outrageous profits. Republicans said we need to start drilling Alaska and purchase more Hummer's to stimulate the economy.

Why do I feel like I'm living in mass confusion?

While Republicans consistently denounce climate change and global warming and have no ideas, besides ripping open preserved forrests for oil, the Democrats plan does nothing to alleviate high prices.

The average American is finally beginning to feel the squeeze at the pump, but driving has decreased only nominally the past few months.

As for me, I'm gonna need to find a gel seat methinks.
P.S. If there was ever a better time to invest money in bicycles I can't think of it. Do it, if you have money and aren't a 22-year old broke joke.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Where Art Thou Lakers??


Fans in LA must be as irate as the time Kobe quit on them in the 4th quarter against the Suns a couple years ago. What is going on with this team?

Prognosis A: Boston's stifling defense has flummoxed the Lakers into forcing shots and sloppy turnovers. These Lakers are beginning to mirror the ones of a few years back.


I don't want to say the ref's did a bad job, but the ref's did a bad job. When the best player in the league is missing dunks, he's getting fouled. It bothers me when they baby Kobe (they will in L.A.) but it bothers me just the same when blatant fouls are overlooked.

Prognosis C: The Lakers are deviating from their system. Instead of moving the ball around through the triangle and sharp passes, they are doing too much one-on-one (Lamar Odom and Kobe) and thereby their shot selection became poor.

Prognosis D: The Celtics are playing their best basketball. I don't think anyone can dispute this. They play a 9-10 man rotation with an abundance of help from their bench (Leon Powe notably) and shot 64% from three-point range. It'd be like beating a baseball team when each player gets an RBI.

The Lakers should and will win Game 3 (and 4). But the luck o' the Irish is with the Celtics.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

I Love Hillary but Hate Obama


And my brain can also be mistaken for an acorn. What is the deal with these people?

Here you have two inspirational icons, shattering repetitious cycles of white-male dominance, and supporters of one can't support the other?

It's absolutely insane.

First, these two guys align politically like Orion's Belt. Hillary wants socialized health care, so does Barack. Barack wants to withdraw our troops out of Iraq, so does Hillary. Hillary has an annoying spouse, so does Barack.

If two peas in a pod ever coalesced more than these two, they would be the Stuck on You twins.

To add further brain damage to the already cracked, acorn skulls these people have, is if one supports Hillary then you would support what she supports. And last time I checked she put her "full support" behind Sen. Obama.

Next, how can anyone hate Obama?

Honestly. This guy has more street cred than the second coming. He could've worked for the top private law firms in the nation after law school, but instead decided to do community building, minimal pay legaleze. He's dedicated his life to improving the lives of the working lower and middle classes.

And finally, if Hillary's supporters are so gung-ho about progress - not just politically - but stature in the public eye, you'd be hard pressed to find greater American progress than a black president.

Especially if he chooses her as his VP. More on this later, but I'm annoyed to even react to such provincial thinking.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Thong Bandits Cant Escape the Cracks


Daring to stray away from the not-so newsworthy events, two young men turned themselves in to the police, after holding up a convenience store with thongs on their heads.

I'm serious. Thongs.

Apparently the guys came into the store with thongs as masks. Security cameras zoomed in to confirm tread marks - that, after a lengthy DNA test - were found belonging to one of the boy's mother.

Maybe that's not exactly what happened.

But this really makes me wonder, where did these guys get these thongs? A girlfriend? Sister? Cross-dressing brother? Mom?

Or do you frequent Victoria's Secret and try on thongs over your face to see which one fits? What would you ladies think if you saw two men putting thongs over their faces in front of the mirrors?
These guys stole cash and cigarettes. What, slurpees were sold out?

I'm going to watch Jay Leno tonight just to hear about 12 jokes about these guys.

Somewhere Darwin is rolling in his grave.

Friday, June 6, 2008

The Single Life


I'm single again. After a fairly serious 9-month relationship, my partner and I (she is female but I figured if I start using the word "partner" I will indirectly reduce the homosexual connotation of the word thereby promoting gay rights) broke it off.

It's too bad too, because the baby is beautiful.

Kidding. In similar fashion for me, she wanted to take it to the next level and I was reluctant. This has happened a few times since my long-long-term relationship a few years ago.
It's hard to determine whether I'm not ready to committ, or I just haven't found the right girl. I have pulled back emotionally from each of my past few relationships which consistently led to girl's frustration and personal guilt.

For one, I'm 22. I don't know anyone who got married at my age or younger and has a successful relationship today. I'm not saying they don't exist, but the likelihood of success increases tenfold the later in life you embark on serious relationships.

Hence, part of it is from societal influences.

Second, being a 22-year old testosterone fueled male, it's hard to give up the chase and not be lured by other women. Once my hormones die down a bit, I will be better able to settle down.

Third, maybe I' m not emotionally ready. The two girls I've said "I love you" to hurt me badly. This has left battle scars that aren't exactly penetrable. My reluctance when I get close to feelings outweighs my desire to get closer and I vacillate long enough that eventually I just push away.

Both physically and emotionally.

When the time is right, I hope I find the right girl that I can let my guard down and open myself up to. But for many reasons, I'm just not there yet.

Working Construction


Last Sunday I traveled back to my hometown in Phoenix to help renovate my old home for lease. The previous tenant kept the place as spotless as a dalmation, so we had our work cut out for us. Every corner we turned another problem rose up. I was having deja vu of Hillary's campaign.


We did some epoxying (not sure if that's a word, but in construction anything goes) to our garage floor. - a four car garage the size of Rafael Nadal's heart.


In order to do this you have to sweep it, mop it, etch it, buff it, vacuum it, blow dry it, lick it (not really), then tape the edges and apply the two-part epoxy. Which isn't all that bad if we didn't have to pull up the caulk between the cracks that had been sitting for 12 years. This stuff was harder than a night on the town with Nick Nolte.

Eventually the speckled floor looked great and the new tenant will eventually appreciate it by driving his Hummer over and over it. I also sealed some decks and tried to avoid making a fool of myself as my Dad pimped me to some hottie in AJ's ( a local organic supermarket).

Is there anything more embarrasing than having your Dad tease you in front of a beautiful girl that was semi-interested before he got there? I would have rather buy tickets to the new Incredible Hulk Movie. Sorry Mr. Norton, you know I got love for you. But this is akin to the time Paris Hilton tried college, or Lara Flynn Boyle tried swallowing. Please just stick to movies that don't make you turn into 3,000 pound superhero's.

Anyway, I made decent money and worked typical 8-hour days (for my Pop's generation). For those of you under 100, this means wake up at 6AM and finish anytime between 7 and 8:30PM.

I'm glad to be back in San Diego, much more to type on later.