Sunday, April 17, 2011

Eye Phone

It took me a long time, but I finally got an iPhone. And it's a game changer. I can finally laugh (or understand) the jokes when people say, "There's an app. for that". There's some weeeiiirrrd apps. And also some very practical, useful ones like the weather, sports scores, and kama sutra. Maybe the last one is more elective. Anyway, texting while driving is now near impossible. Which of course is a good thing, as no one should text while driving in any case, even with a BlackBerry. Perhaps they'll create an app where you can send a text through voice activism. Or do they have that already? I'm so out of the loop. You should'nt do many other things while driving besides, well, driving, and even that is hard enough as it is. Especially when the Texans are visiting your state (ahem, district) making left turns from the far right lane. BTW, state or district, we really got thrown under the bus in this new budget deal...thanks Obama.

There's numerous accessories to fashion your iPhone. You can get a protective case, a Juicy Couture one if you're pretentious. You can get BlueTooth connect. You can get an earpiece. You can get a car-charger. Consumerism is a full-time job and Apple has got us buying gizmos and gadgets so frequently where we forget the difference between what we 'need' and what we 'want'. It becomes 'weed' when the two mix, and that's precisely what you want to smoke after all the time you'll spend donning your iPhone with the proper attire. But that's a whole another expense, and I don't know where I can find the nearest dealer (nor the money for that matter), but I could probably find the dispensaries if I lived in a place where that sort of thing was legal. Not that I smoke weed, because I don't. But it's nice to know there's an app for that if I ever move to a place that does.

So if someone stole your iPhone what would it say about you? No longer would the numbers be the first things people would look at. Or photos. That's so passe. Now you could create a composite image of a person solely by assumptions and stereotypes if you picked up a strangers phone. Pink case, almost certainly female. Huffington Post app, definite liberal. Gas pump saver app - we have a conscientious shopper and a car owner. And you can go on and on.

So what does your phone say about you? Or maybe you don't have one, if that's the case, the people at Apple have a message for you....Buy our products...or else. suffer in obscurity. Unless you're like my Pops, who heeds no mind to the whacky technologies that come along passing them over like speed bumps. I guess that's why he moved to a place with dispensaries....

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

The thing to worry about is not to get too wrapped up in the phone. It is just a thing to use, but so many people have a disconnect with real live people they pass on the street or sit next to on the bus, because of it. Remember the importance of true human connections when you are out in the public world. Enjoy your phone,too.

Anonymous said...

The price of information is liberty. You will need it, rely on it, crave it, worship it, and i don't mean sex. There is an app for that, right?

Anonymous said...

What isn't there an app for is probably the easier question to ask. Enjoy your new phone, but watch out for that radiation coming your way.

Anonymous said...

My how your writing has matured and flows as a fresh spring snow fed mountain stream.Likewise enjoyable to savor as a fine cognac.

Enjoy those You Tube clips anywhere you now please.

sat nam

Anonymous said...

Please let us know in a couple of weeks just how much you still like the i-phone. Any down sides?

Anonymous said...

Should your hair start to fall out and little green crawlie worms slide down your check from your ear, don't worry. Apple will accept no responsibility for abused phone relationship. Grow up and learn to live with a land line, gas station pay phones and requests to please put in 25 more cents............

Anonymous said...

Funny blog post. I agree with the first comment- all this technology on your new phone is not an excuse for you to get sucked into your cell phone even more than you were before. The original goal of a smart phone, I think, was to improve your experience when outside the home. So don't blow it by locking your eyes on the iphone screen instead of the people and scenery around you. Just some words of advice.

Anonymous said...

Verizon's droid has voice activated texting. ...but yeah, texting while driving is a no-no. Just ask the girl who has literally, "paid the price." $$$$ It's illegal here in Cali.