Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Hey, There Friend

The other day I waltzed into one of my favorite bakeries in Bethesda, Maryland, as I often do, to directly counterbalance the tough workout I put in earlier in the day. Well, technically that's not the purpose of visiting this euphoric place, but it's the result nonetheless. Anyway, I was glancing down at my Twitter feed to kill time as the FF (fatty family) in front of me squabbled over which cupcakes to devour. This took an exceedingly long amount of time (see FF note above), at which point I almost ditched the craving and went with frozen yogurt instead, but ultimately persevered because I wanted that damn cookie. And triathlon teaches nothing if not perseverance. I earned it dammit.

The cookie I buy is called "The Man Cookie". Obviously, it gives you street cred. It's basically two large chocolate chip cookies sandwiched together with a thin layer of chocolate ganache on the inside surrounded by a generous dallop of peanut butter. It's fairly amazing, especially when served warm.

So I bided my time reading snarky tweets when I got to the front to place my order, the lady behind the counter says, "I just want to tell you, that you are extremely hot." I was taken aback. Of course, I see myself as 'extremely hot', but the consensus in that debate is largely suspect. Sort of as suspect as my man Ron Paul's presidential aspirations  :( so sad...Also her use of 'extremely' took me further aback. Usually that word is used in other circumstances i.e. (don't drive in extreme conditions, that theme park is extreme, Hunger Games is extremely overrated).

Anyway, worried she was perhaps partially blind or hungover, I thanked her for her compliment while blushing. Since this happens about as much as Shaq making a free throw, I didn't want to jinx the occasion by saying other words. Just smile, be polite and walk out. And that I did, but it made me think (for those of you who encounter this more frequently than I) how the hell do you respond to that? It's like when the movie stub dude says, "Enjoy the show!" and peeps reply, "You too!" You could just say thanks I suppose, but for some reason that seems so banal and almost dismissive. I don't know, next time I'm just gonna ask her if I can get a damn discount on my 6 dollar cookie.

Anyway, onto more interesting things such as swimming. Oh, and before I forget FYI - I'm 'extremely' hot...just saying. It's been corroborated.

I've started taking swim lessons from a young coach at AU. He's a former collegiate swimmer himself who dabbled in triathlon in the past. Because I have no swim background, I feel I needed some stroke analysis and technical advice to improve. Since I showed some innate talent for it last year, I think I could leverage it as a strength to give me some space between the super fast bikers/runners.

And #holycrapIsuck. He takes video of me swimming and I look like I'm floundering as if a shark is circling my feet. I look like the people that I tease in the pool swimming next to me. Well, almost. I have more flaws than Obamacare.

While I don't have time to deconstruct my stroke for the triathlon season, there are some useful tips I've gained from working with him thus far. In the future, I will need to break the bad habits, but until then, hopefully I can just skate by this year on talent/effort alone.

I still haven't registered for this Sunday's race, but I might do so today or tomorrow. It's only a 750 meter swim if I do, and it's wetsuit legal. I never swam with a wetsuit before yesterday in the pool (and it takes forever to get on/off) and wow it makes a huge difference. It did tend to make my arms more sore which I noticed, but what was immediate is the buoyancy and warmth. While this upcoming race (about 70-30 for doing it at this point) is not an 'A' race. I'm especially interested in my swim time...keep checking back as I hope to post some of the ugly footage of me swimming up here too.


Anonymous said...

Six bucks for a COOKIE? That's why she was stroking you! Not only are you hot, but rich as well! Which of course makes you even hotter.

Anonymous said...

C'mon conor, she musta been a plant. But if your head was down tweeting then she never got a good look anyhow!
Did she say the same thing to the guy behind you?
No, seriously though, congrats. Getting any kind of affirmation these days is hard. But don't let it go to your head, the swelling is bad for your beautiful complexion.

Anonymous said...

Well, it will be a treat to see some swimming video and really see your "hotness" in action. Watch those cookies though. They can break an athlete's endurance and make for a pudge middle over time.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you should take your speedo off when buying cookies.

Anonymous said...

Although I'm a girl, I think I could go for a man cookie. Ymm!!

Doran said...

Race this weekend. Report back on your fitness/hotness. You'll love the wetsuit.